Dear Body,
What the hell? It's our one day off. We get to sleep in. Do you know what that means? We do not have any reason to be awake. Like none, no responsibilities. Whatsoever. I'm not even functioning at the capacity of a hand puppet. So what are you doing?
There is no reason for this. We didn't even get in till almost dawn, it doesn't make sense. Even less when you consider the gratuitous amount of alcohol involved. In case you need a refresher, for normal bodies: more of that usually equates to more time unconscious, not less. Making zombie-face at the wall is not what needs to be happening right now.
I will fight you to the death,
Brain