Monday, January 31, 2011

Goose.

So the delightful Jennie of Too Hard to Find a URL goosed me (is that right?) in this thing going around (nope, now it sounds like an STD) and because she's a sweetheart just this once I'm going to play along.

Rules are simple: list 15 facts about oneself and then goose five other bloggers to do the same.  As I'm lazy, if you're reading this and have a blog, consider yourself goose'd.  If you're reading this and don't have a blog you are duck'd.  Sorry.

Due to being a jerk lady, I will list an arbitrary number of factoids instead (read: until I get bored).  D├ębut ici:

  1. I have been chased by a police helicopter as a teenager.
  2. People are generally much better at remembering my own escapades than I am.  Apparently there's quite a bit.
  3. I consider anyone I haven't met to be fictional.  Recently, due to being forced to watch some of their movies, Japan has also made this list.  Seriously.  There's no way that's a real place. I can not be convinced otherwise.
  4. I secretly would do terrible, terrible, wonderful things to Carmen Sandiego.
  5. Number 4's not really a secret.
  6. I recently caught myself signing a government document "Batman" without thinking.  Nobody even noticed this error at first since I've used it as a pseudonym so often.
  7. I'm Batman.
  8. I have a list of men I would kidnap, without hesitation, given the chance.  It includes Adam West, Morgan Freeman, William Shatner, John Lithgow, and a few more.  The plan is to lock them together in a room and film what I can only assume will be entertainment gold!  (Once the chloroform wears off.)
  9. I have no shame about knowing the Macarena.
  10. My inner child is a fat kid I keep locked in a cage.  She bitterly hates me in no uncertain terms; repeatedly trying to break out and grab the reins.  We are locked in an eternal battle of "Screw you".
 

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Things That Are and Should Be

Oh.  
Oh my.  
I have discovered one of the greatest things anyone who grew up on pop bands from the 90s can:


Yeah.  It's a thing and it's REAL.  
Oh.  My.  
She was my favourite too (incidentally, shortly followed by Mel C).  After I stopped laughing I swore that if I ever got a PS3 or Kinect this would be the first thing I purchase.  Not to get fit, no.  That would just be frivolous money spending then.  Not to mention impossible, because I can't get over how amazingly awesome-hilarious I find this.  I would probably just sit in front of it and drink Long Island iced-teas while she yells at me.  Aw man, if there was a Get Trashed with Mel B I would be all over that so fast…


Speaking of which, other things I would like to see in this genre of gaming:

Get Loaded with Jamie P

Get Classy with The Rock

Get Airborne with Lucy Lawless
(Not to be confused with Xena, who can not fly.)

Get Straight with Adam West

Be Narrated by Morgan F 




Monday, January 3, 2011

[Possibly Directly Relates to Previous Entry]

I am a Monster!  I will eat your cookies in a most terrifying way!  ...Once I get out of this bed.  Then I will be Queen of all China.

I just noticed my bed is very blue.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Totally Not Filler

Honestly, I don't really care to write anything, but a New Year's post just sort of seems like the thing to do.  So that said, here's my 2011 cocktail which I've recently recovered from:

  • 1 blue dress
  • 1 pair black 3" boots
  • 2 parts champagne
  • 4 parts screwdriver
  • 4 parts Jack of All Trades, Muppets Christmas Carol, Blade, Clueless
  • 2 parts board & card games
  • 1/2 part accidental B&E
  • 2 parts old friends
  • 1 part new friends
  • 1 part random friends
  • Umpteen parts vodka & mystery vodka
  • Many parts dancing
  • 1 awful beer
  • 1 part street justice
  • 1 part CO-PILOT.
I'd give it 3 1/2 to 4 stars. Feel free to adjust to tastes.

[Warning.  There is a reason this is only done once a year not that often.  Not meant for pregnant women, children, or those with weak constitutions.  Make sure to book off an appropriate amount of time for the aftermath.  This establishment recommends at least 1, if not 2 days.  We take no responsibility for your actions at any point.]

Happy New Year.