Thursday, December 1, 2011


Inspired by my brother's frequent comments to me that I "should have an app!" based on my random mass-texts that are obviously necessary for the people in my life.  So basically it'd be Twitter (which, incidently I have, but almost never cross-post), but I'd be the only one you could follow, or something.  I've yet to explain to him why this isn't likely to fly, instead just taking the compliment.  Here's some of the joy you're missing out on by not being in my contacts list (excluding picture messages), going as far back as...two months (when my phone crashed):

So I just got back tired from the gym... Long story short, takes me 2 minutes to realise I put the computer mouse in the spice rack thinking it's cinnamon.

"Why do you keep saying 'date'? What is that, do people still do that? What are you: from the 60s?" - Mom to me

On 3 hours sleep, just took a break at work; went to the washroom and couldn't find my own underwear.  That I'm wearing... So yay for today.

Said it before: Everything's better on the dancefloor.  And when my iPod does right EVERYwhere is my dancefloor.

Just made a pale saleswoman very uncomfortable by insisting there's a difference between jeans for white butts and butts of colour.  She finally broke and shrieked "I have a big ass!" ...She apparently couldn't tell the difference between round and just fat either.

Standing on a train near someone who smells like PANCAKES.  The delicious sort! I want to get romantically cannibalistic with their head.

Haha!  Doctor called it: tonisilitis AND strep.  So close to a hattrick...

Handicap washrooms: a reward for having a lazy body? Take them for those of us that make the effort to be fully functional, for justice!

This may be the fever-hallucinations talking but I have a reasonable fear Katy Perry wants to shoot Me out of a cannon...

A fork just dropped out of my sweater... What.

"The best thing about fetuses is they can't say 'no'." - Izzy

Face on, dressed to kill, scoring 10... I'd be dignified if only I could stop dancing in transit.

I'm mesmerized by the ass of the woman standing in front of me.  Everytime she shifts it's like wet clay moving in a bag.  That can not be right...

On subway between Rosedale and Bloor (outdoor stretch of track thankfully).  Power is completely CUT.  Rush-hour crowded... Ugh, I'm taking out as many as I can.

Ooo, we got lights back.  No one's yet to fart on my end of the car...

[Special mention: response from my older brother, "FART ALL THE CARS!"]

Just saw my first house with Christmas lights up.  Seriously?  [Dated Nov. 6]

AAAAA! Hyoerventilating, we can't handle this!  "They're zombies-", "No! They're strippers!", "They're zombie strippers!"

Being SO HUNGRY I left the office with EVERY INTENTION to buy food.  ...I have returned with new boots.

Just sped by a sombrero on the train track.  Looking for the rest of the Mexican...


Big black guy next to me on the train has the same Kim Possible notification for his texts that I do.  It keeps psyching me out.

No comments:

Post a Comment