Off-Book

Apparently there's a reasonable danger of this blog just turning into "Things I Consume".  That said, adventures in bark!

The only thing fat-free about this is the pictures.  So lucky you!  Now originally it was supposed to be two layered and macadamia nuts but being me, well when do I not go off recipe? "You can't tell me what to do, instructions!  You're not my mom!"  Though in my defence, this time it was an accident.  Partially.

No macadamia nuts, so I replaced them with almonds, hazelnuts, pecans  and the occasional walnut.  Then took a hammer to that shit.  Warning: this procedure may miss some nuts entirely while turning others to powder.  (Fine for taste, just depends on the texture you're after.)  I took a knife to some of the remaining whole ones to slit them in halves for managability.

So poured the first layer (Dark chocolate) and decided it would be better to mix half the nuts in so to capture them between layers (already off-book!) - as opposed to just on top.

Second layer was to be white chocolate but it turned out I didn't have enough... BUT I did have butterscotch chips!  Which are delicious in a way that works with all the flavours and also light coloured (this mattered because I planned on dying this layer red).  Unfortunately I did not consider that butterscotch chips have a different texture and aren't really....melty in the way I needed.  Adding eggnog helped make it a little more viscous but it wasn't spreadable enough.  Also, kind of hideous despite the dye and not melding with the first layer.

Solution!  Third layer of milk chocolate to seal it all in.  First laying down the rest of the nuts, then pouring that sucker on.  Of course now it's ridiculously thick, but whatever, that just means there's more delicious - and it'll take longer to set.

Upon freeing it from it's frozen prison after an hour or so I quickly learn this particular bark is now thick like family and does not want to split.  I can respect that, but now it is, quite literally, hammer time.

And hammer time.