A Note About Peanut Butter

From this post you may deduce "one" has a lot of peanut butter.  Like, a lot a lot.  It's been almost a year and I think we've managed to whittle down....3 of the 10 kg tub of Skippy Smooth that's sitting on my floor. (Friends in restaurants, what?)  From that experience I can assure you, thorough research has been done, experiments baked, boredom temporarily staved off... you get it.  And so I bring you,

THINGS TO DO WITH PEANUT BUTTER (Vol. 1):

• Introduce to jam
• Invite honey and bananas
• Murder them with your mouth
• Make a new sandwich
• Make a valentine
• Make dinosaur
• Make a painting
• Make a mess
• Eat said mess
• Invite others to eat said mess
• Give it away
• Write threatening letters to Reeses' to expose their secret recipe.  (add chocolate)
• Paint a picture
• Paint the wall
• Paint yourself a.k.a. Invent PB&J tattoos
• Make another sandwich

…Poison the remainder with hair product so you stop fucking eating it.

Day 5

"May" have snapped at a random Asian I had never met in the office opposite us, "No one believes you're blond!"  Then just walked away.

...What? It's true.  No matter how carefully he applies those hi- and low-lights he can never win that game.

My goodness, is it possible this detox-cleanse is affecting my mood?

The hallucinations have gone down but by 14:00 so has the will to stay awake.

Total time at work spent looking up recipes and fantasizing: probably about 2 hours.  (Panettone French toast: did you know that was a thing?  My god...)

Even though I can't have any yet I couldn't wait - just baked EVERYthing.  Peanut butter & strawberry jam (plus actual strawberries cut up) muffins; banana-chestnut cookies with cinnamon and pecans.  Most are iced with spicy (chili flakes) chocolate ganache icing.

Time spent using aforementioned recipes: 0.00

Oh, and I may have had a couple shots of vodka... eat me.  Potato, vegetable!