Inov-8; Voice

Inspired by a conversation after friends heard my voice over TeamSpeak.  Apparently my voice is a thing.  Unused to that kind of response this is my threat in return  ...Which I'm probably way too lazy to follow up on, but I liked the imagery.

I also really like katanas in L4D2.

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Let the World-Dom Countdown Begin

So we're one month past my first quarter century mark, and so far not so bad.  Ended it with a trip back to the beloved NYC, apparently it doesn't take much for me to walk around like I own the place.  ("Soon, soon...")


DAY 1:
Immediately hit up Lombardi's with plans to see the Upright Citizen's Brigade (and till now am sure it is destiny that I remembered it was on that night) followed by Cienfuegos.
Little did we know that night at UCB would be the best thing of ever. The brain-exploding awesomeness when AMY PHOLER walked onto the empty stage as the night's host, then proceeded to introduce RACHEL DRATCH, as well as Jon Lutz, Zach Woods, a couple of our favourite regulars and…some MC who really sucked. Which in a way was good, because otherwise we may have just died from not getting a reprieve to breathe from all the laughter. I was unintelligible for about 2 hours (excluding intermission and anytime the MC was up).

 At UCB: watching you pee.

PRO-TIP: If you find yourself down Cienfuegos way, get the House Zombie 20. Not because of the name (which is a reflection of what it's served in), but because it is sublime. Be warned there is a one-per customer limit, whereas you can order all the rum bowls you want - to give you an idea of potency.

DAY 2:
General roaming around and showing off NYC to our friend who was a first-timer.  (I got rewarded by her sharing her flu with me.  Friggin' cooties... see if I'm ever nice again)  See a Timmy's in TS which was just weird.
Oh, and I got Marylin Monroe'd on 8th. I didn't realise that was a real thing until then. Now I - and everyone else on 8th at the time - know it is.  They may also know I am partial to lacy neon underthings...  Clearly important information to have.  Very careful about wearing certain skirts from then on.

All whore'd-up for New York.  Because this makes sense to someone.

DAY 3:
Lead gang on off-trail run through Central Park. I went easy since I was totally making the route up but am still a li'l proud of them for managing. Later discover Baked by Melissa, (read: MOOLISSA) and her wonderful tiny cupcakes.  I want to Scrooge McDuck in them.
Post-dinner: Wherein I learn I hate Brooklyn Bridge, and cyclists, and especially cyclists on Brooklyn Bridge. If I ever go back it will be with a baseball bat. And/or fire. All the fire.

 Wherein we say we'll get some for after dinner…and then proceed to finish twelve between us right in the store front. Proceed to dinner.

Fuck you, Brooklyn Bridge.

DAY 4:
Shopping and TS touristy stuff avec the newbie. Broadway at night. Flu taking full effect meaning I paid to take a very expensive series of mini-naps. Luckily at rush ticket rate. From what I can remember though, unless you're a huge Matthew Broderick fan or just like incredibly formulaic musicals, don't bother with It's Nice Work, If You Can Get It. Oh, and BFFE's boyfriend nearly flipped when he saw Kelly Ripa an aisle over. I don't think he even watches CMT…
Friends insisted we cancel original plans to go clubbing that night because apparently my ability to barely stand was concerning. I tried to fight them but apparently my ability to barely stand is also not the best for arguing my position.

What's that you say, we can custom order a hot cake cookie to surround brown butter and candied bacon ice-cream?

"Oh, hello, taste-gasm.  Come live in my mouth."

DAY 5:
Coney Island.
DO: Ride the Steeplechase. Intense from the moment it starts, there is no build-up just GO.
DO NOT: Eat a Nathan's Famous hotdog. That **** is disgusting. I mean...the chili was nice. With everything New York does so well they have ZERO powers of hot dog. It's mind-boggling how this one specific thing is just god-awful. That and their parking.
BEWARE: Soaring Eagle. That one is actually just really physically painful. It gave everyone bruises when we just wanted thrills.
Special Mention: Cyclone is possibly the most comfortable roller coaster ever, that thing is so well cushioned. Almost…womb-y.
Went clubbing tonight. Worth it. Wanting to test my new NikeFuel band while dancing specifically, I wore it out. Since we didn't leave before midnight it'd be fairly accurate. Amused I met my goal for the day between 00:00 and 01:48. Also, Neno's pizza remains the best 5 AM reward.  Killed it.

Just ow.  Let me be your cautionary tale.

DAY LAST:
Somehow manage to wake up and pack at 0900 before going to meet parts of the American side of my family. Valiant efforts are (successfully I think) made to hide the fact I'm about to drop dead from flu/exhaustion while with them.
Buy more two more boxes of Trix minutes before leaving just to be sure I have enough.
That evening at Newark my lady business manages to once again set off security. This time highlighted on a monitor for all to see. Lovely. Apparently the way my denim shorts are designed to crinkle at the crux is incredibly threatening to your safety. The security woman was uncommonly nice though so that was kinda sweet.
Also, finally caved and bought one of those infernal "I [heart] NYC" t-shirts.  The breaking point?  Newark airport (like everywhere else in America) was blasting the AC into another ice-age and after two hours I was ready to wear anything.  Well, except the one of those New Jersey hoodies.  (These things sell?  Who's wants to show off they'd been there?)  Death before dishonour!
Unfortunately, while I don't actually mind the t-shirt terribly in design it also manages to be incredibly uncomfortable. Impressive for a t-shirt.  Luckily my exhaustion, desperation and fever-haze combined to keep me from noticing at the time.  Luckily.

Bonus:
Suitcase Upon Depature:

Pictured: Space. Also, little did I know the stilettos would be my shoes for *sprinting* from 57th through Times Square to 45th. In evening wear and leather jacket. I don't mind saying I'm a little proud of being able to Charlie's Angels it, after some lady apparently commented on how she wished she could run like that in heels. (As relayed to me later through one my friends who was picking up the rear.)

Suitcase Upon Return:

Pictured: ALL THE TRIX. Plus duty-free to the left.

UPDATE:  Have demolished 3 boxes of Trix within first week of being back.

Another Public Service Announcement

This is what I think of every time someone describes something as "cray":

Now stop it.  You sound like an illiterate jackass, "crazy" is not a word that needs to be shortened.

(Unless you are talking actually talking about our friendly freshwater-dwelling crayfish.  In which case, carry on.  I'm sure they appreciate the attention and not being confused for their evil saltwater doppelganger, the lobsters.  ...Seriously.  Lobsters are cannibalistic and their diet consists of eating things alive, whereas crayfish do all of the not-that.

*The More You Know***)

I am Runner 5

The anticipation is finally over.  Zombies, Run! is at last available on Android.  Better still, I now have it on my phone.

To fair it's only version 0.9 for Android as they keep ironing out the bugs for the specific platform.  Fair play, I don't even care.

The clips are well voice acted for what I was expecting, and it was fun to play "peg the accent" (I hadn't looked into development prior to know the team wasn't from North America) while it gets you into the prologue and crafts the world around you.  A good time to be tying up your shoes.

Funny thing, I didn't realize it uses my music to run to inbetween clips.  Related: if you don't adjust it it goes with the first playlist you have alphabetically.  ...For me, that was one entitled "Disney Afternoon".  After being told to RUN post-crash landing, I melodiously advised to be true to my heart (á la Mulan).  I dare say it was a little mood-breaking.

So I paused and quickly switched it to the broader selection of what was on my phone...which is still mostly pop oriented.  For the curious in between chapters it went:
True to Your Heart - 98º  ft. Stevie Wonder

Domino - Jessie J
1, 2, Step - Ciara
Tik Tok  - Ke$ha
In the Dark - Dev  ft. 50 Cent
Escape - 30 Seconds to Mars
Music is My Life - Don Diablo
etc... (I can't remember the rest, but you get the idea)

That was a learning experience.  I strongly suggest at least having some more...aggressive music, as opposed to songs that entice your feet into chorographed routines.  (Ciara, you're going to get me eaten!)  Definitely making a specific more appropriate list to keep myself immersed.

Also of note, the time in between  clips is always the length of one song.  Can't adjust that.  This means episode will never be the same length twice if your playlist is random.  Something to keep in mind when you have everything from TV theme songs (Call Me, Beep Me, 01:02) to iconic rock (In A-Gadda-da-Vida, 17:04).

It was fun hearing the occasional "You picked up [item]" during the songs, reminding you of the story you're in.  I thought I had "Zombie chases" checked on when I started, but I guess not.  I really hope they get more...intrusive.

So here's my first run's story.  (Spoilers for the first episode, if you care)
Though the map feature is blank, harkening back to why it's version 0.9.  According to the GPS, though I ran for 46 minutes I never took a step.  No biggie, but it's a shame since I would be interested to know where the heck it was I actually ran as I decided to make up a totally new route - and consequently got a tad lost for a bit - to celebrate finally having the app.

Amusingly, I almost believed the GPS was working the way the route consistently lined up with what was going on in the story.  Seriously, it was actually a little freaky.  Coincidence of course, but trés bizarre.  Example:
Crash in Story - Running in familiar streets
Yao starts to act as guide into unfamiliar territory - Veered off into not-quite-sure
Head for the Tower - Discover odd giant-ass staircase in middle of forest
Dubbed "Runner 5" - A little put out at receiving a used mantle (Okay, that has nothing to do with the route, just saying.)
Doc directs me to retrieve items from Hospital in ghost town - No idea where I am in...new residential side streets
Zombies become more prominent threat - breaking back into the forest at a random point, off path
Getting close to Town - Finally reoriented myself with the part of the forest I knew (close to home)
Arrive at Abel - Made it back to my block

Also, I assumed that once the mission/episode had reached it's conclusion the whole thing would stop.  Not so.  After the last clip, the music will pick up again, and just play song after song for as long as you're running.  This makes sense, of course, but I wasn't thinking on the same lines and kept waiting for the music to stop to stop running.  The music that kept going.  ...Yeah.

Overall, absolutely adore this app, early bugs notwithstanding, and hope the writing and developers et al keep that love alive. (I have faith they will from the team's obvious dedication plus little I've heard of other users that have had it longer on iPhones.)

Suddenly! A Less Mossy Rock

So motivated by a sale deadline I designed some new business cards pour moi last night.  Inspired by my graphic resumé (which the QR code takes you to), I like the continuity there but...honestly, wouldn't have been my first design choice as a stand-alone.
It'll be nice to actually be able to have something to hand out to people when they ask again.  The only part that wasn't outdated on my old ones was the name. Oops...

Next up: the cards repping my personal trainer side.  Just haven't deiced if I want to brand myself yet or not... Or more accurately, what as.  I could, after this blog, "Savage" - which I kinda like (apparently "Mongol" tests as more offensive/confusing.  So much for beating clients with the flat of a broadsword) - but how many times should I want to explain that its origin comes from my stripper name and what does that do to my credibility?  Also, do I care?  (PROTIP:  probably not.)

Still, open to ideas there for now.

That is all.

What's Black, White and Read all-over?

Apparently I am only 163% faster than the American national average.  That's...not impressive, when you consider where they set the bar.  Ouch, kick in the pants I need to stop being lazy.  How about you?

That's Just Messed Up

Sometimes it's just a "little" impressive, one's ability to rationalize utter nonsense.

Guild Wars 2 is $59.99.
The fantasy shopping list I stayed up till 0230 last night making amounts to $90.89*. (Foodie, much?  Foodgawker is my porn, Nuts.com my wannabe dealer.  Some people have fantasy football, I have fantasy cooking/baking/eating.  The difference is sometimes mine becomes reality.)  Not to mention my newfound PB2 love, avg. $50+...if I break $100, free shipping.

Being on a tight budget, means buying one voids the other.  On the one hand, a major time waster (albeit fun), on the other, a major body shape killer (albeit delicious).  And though I'm entitled to my cheat days I can't keep that stuff around the house after.  Cravings will eventually rear their monstrous heads (I picture it like a hydra) and that "for later" will be destroyed, as each I temptation I slay spouts more and more heads, gradually making the beast stronger with the knowledge "it's there, it's there", until I am overwhelmed! ARHG! It's the peanut butter Fibre1 all over again!  ...But I digress.

 Fuck you and your siren song, hydra.

 

Also, considering it's kinda part of my career to not be what some scientists may refer to as "one fat muthafucker"...

And yet, this is just makes me happy to dance to.

In effect, what I'm seeing here is vidya games are actually the healthier choice.  Huh, who knew!  Proven by science.  There, I'm glad we figured this out together.

*If you're wondering, this is what I had limited myself to on my fantasy candy binge to get to that price:

• Assorted Malted Milk Balls $7.49, 1 lb
• Malted Milk Balls (Low Sugar) $6.99, 1 lb
• Malt Ball Centres $3.99, 1 lb
• Speckled Robin Eggs $4.99, 1 lb
• Sun Dried Peppers $7.99, 1 lb
• Carob Powder $4.99, 1 lb
• Antioxidant Mix [goji berries, cacao nibs, golden berries, mulberries, brazil nuts) $2.50, samples
• Jordan Almonds (Assorted) $2.50, samples
• Ultimate Bridge Mix (Sugar Free) [chocolate covered: raisins, peanuts, almonds; yogurt covered: peanuts, almonds) $2.50, samples
• Organic Cacao Nibs (Raw) $2.50, samples
• Dried Persimmons $2.50 samples
• Deluxe Pastel Chocolate Berry Mix [cherries, apricots, blueberries] $8.99, 1 lb
• Dark Chocolate Strawberries $8.99, 1 lb
• Dark Chocolate Covered Banana Chips $8.99, 1 lb
• Dark Chocolate Covered Ginger $7.99, 1 lb
• Banana Mocha Coffee $9.99, 1 lb

...wut?  Oh, I could've kept going.  Heaven forbid I ever have money and a home stomach pump. Better to make the list and indulge the fantasy than actually lose it and hit submit.  C'est la vie...

For Comparison

Regarding that last.  Tonight I bothered to grab the SRL when making chili just to see the difference.  Then I remembered, Oh yeah, I friggin' love this camera.  Chili's more about the aroma (and taste, obviously) than its look particularily - at least to me - so.  Case made.

 Zucchini, broccoli, green olives, yellow, orange and red peppers, chopped tomato, red onion, mushrooms, TVP (textured vegetable protein) and my sauce of Prego, pesto, basil, oregano and red pepper flakes.

 About a teaspoon of olive oil and got the onions going till they turn translucent.

 Prepped the lean ground beef the night before with a smoked paprika & chili rub, bay leaves and chopped garlic cloves.  There was no way this picture was going to not look weird.

 The traditional adding and cooking of meat.  Wherein we turn brown from pink.

 Final addition of beans, veggies, sauce, water and any additional flavours to taste.  See, this is why I love TVP, it blends in seamlessly with the ground beef making it seem like I have almost twice as much dead animal.

 Then I let it sit for at least 30, allowing the chili to thicken as I like.  (I used the time to sneak in another Insanity workout, Fast & Furious - so I could really earn that chili - while trying not to kill my joints.)

This is another super healthy meal with the same problem as wrap night: I've never seen anyone stop eating it after getting full. Seriously, unless I make a point of putting it away it'll be gone before bed.  Serves at least 10 people within reason, or 2 - 3 people without reason.

So to sum,
Canon T2i: All the points
HTC Desire:  Negative points

For fairness it should be noted that in the category of making phone calls and texts though, the scores are reversed. 

Oh, and here's the Chili's scorecard for those curious:
Serving size: approx. 1.5 C
Calories: 380
Total Fat: 6.3 g
    Saturated: 1.8 g
Cholesterol: 50 mg
Sodium: 68 mg
Total Carbs: 34.4 g
Dietary Fibre: 9.9 g
Sugars: 4.9 g
Protein: 50.3 g
Vitamin A: 39 %
Vitamin C: 125%
Calcium: 14%
Iron: 53%

Well, I'll Probably Never Starve...

So after injuring my knees on Insanity (by simply being neglectful to my body's early warnings - don't do that), I've had to stop.  For now.  Skipping over the part where this is a spectacular downer/setback.... Well long rambling "story" short, this somehow connects to me putting up photos off my phone of all the things I've been making in the mean time.  Cheers!

This is a Public Service Announcement

If you are like me you may have a tendency to sit at your computer with one foot tucked under you.  PRO-TIP:  Make sure it is not asleep when you decide to stand up.  That tingling is not your body being cute, it's trying to prevent this:

"But I don't have my computer next to a cliff..."
Don't be a fool!  The descent will find you, and will strike suddenly, leaving you crumpled on the floor, a disoriented, undignified, dishevelled mess - assuming it did not kill you by having your head strike something (possibly a desk-y corner, or a cat) on the way down.

BE SAFE.  Follow sitting protocol and beware all tingly feelings in your extremities.

There's No Reason for Me to Be Sharing This. (Or 98% of the things I do, honestly)

It's time for!  Another Weird Fucking Dream I Had

"Another?" you might respond.  Well, yes.  They occur, I just don't write them down.  Through I really should.  "Should" like one "should" build a case for their future insanity plea.  Sometimes I text them, but I don't know if that'll hold up in court.

Setting: My apartment
Time: Night, after say...0300
Scenario: Stormy
Dream: Woke up within the dream, with the feeling that my home wasn't right... So naturally I start prowling it, in the dark, until I make my way to the study.  A flash of lightning at this point reveals an large avian shadow on the wall, which, of course, is moving closer.  Turns out a pigeon (that tried to pose as a crow for misguided intimidation reasons: think "Mushu") broke into my apartment during some godawful dark hour.  I vaguely recall him making demands - in pigeon, not English, but this, being a dream, didn't stop me from understanding him.  IIRC, I believe he was after a drink, a glass of water or milk...  I do remember him being quite huffy when he realized he wasn't pulling off "giant crow".
Oh, also it should be noted he was master of storms.  Yeah, that's a thing.  Bright enough to control the weather - straight up showing off even, conducting lightning with his wings - but the concept of glass doors still eluded him when he tried to leave.  Which was both sad yet satisfactory as he was kind of a d-bag.

God, I hate birds.

RE: Soul Calibur V

*Le sigh*  ...Really, Namco?  If you're trying to get Soul Calibur to break up with me there's more tactful ways of going about it.  You'll always have a special place in my heart for the good, the amazing times - the joy, struggles, the laughs, the triumphs... before you were forced to turn cheap tricks for coin.

Keep the change.

P.S.  In fairness I  would be remiss if I didn't give credit where it's due and so I feel I should say the Creation mode is really well done.  It's like someone gave a tricked-out luxury car to a premature baby.

A Note About Peanut Butter

From this post you may deduce "one" has a lot of peanut butter.  Like, a lot a lot.  It's been almost a year and I think we've managed to whittle down....3 of the 10 kg tub of Skippy Smooth that's sitting on my floor. (Friends in restaurants, what?)  From that experience I can assure you, thorough research has been done, experiments baked, boredom temporarily staved off... you get it.  And so I bring you,

THINGS TO DO WITH PEANUT BUTTER (Vol. 1):

• Introduce to jam
• Invite honey and bananas
• Murder them with your mouth
• Make a new sandwich
• Make a valentine
• Make dinosaur
• Make a painting
• Make a mess
• Eat said mess
• Invite others to eat said mess
• Give it away
• Write threatening letters to Reeses' to expose their secret recipe.  (add chocolate)
• Paint a picture
• Paint the wall
• Paint yourself a.k.a. Invent PB&J tattoos
• Make another sandwich

…Poison the remainder with hair product so you stop fucking eating it.