That's Just Messed Up

Sometimes it's just a "little" impressive, one's ability to rationalize utter nonsense.

Guild Wars 2 is $59.99.
The fantasy shopping list I stayed up till 0230 last night making amounts to $90.89*. (Foodie, much?  Foodgawker is my porn, Nuts.com my wannabe dealer.  Some people have fantasy football, I have fantasy cooking/baking/eating.  The difference is sometimes mine becomes reality.)  Not to mention my newfound PB2 love, avg. $50+...if I break $100, free shipping.

Being on a tight budget, means buying one voids the other.  On the one hand, a major time waster (albeit fun), on the other, a major body shape killer (albeit delicious).  And though I'm entitled to my cheat days I can't keep that stuff around the house after.  Cravings will eventually rear their monstrous heads (I picture it like a hydra) and that "for later" will be destroyed, as each I temptation I slay spouts more and more heads, gradually making the beast stronger with the knowledge "it's there, it's there", until I am overwhelmed! ARHG! It's the peanut butter Fibre1 all over again!  ...But I digress.

 Fuck you and your siren song, hydra.

 

Also, considering it's kinda part of my career to not be what some scientists may refer to as "one fat muthafucker"...

And yet, this is just makes me happy to dance to.

In effect, what I'm seeing here is vidya games are actually the healthier choice.  Huh, who knew!  Proven by science.  There, I'm glad we figured this out together.

*If you're wondering, this is what I had limited myself to on my fantasy candy binge to get to that price:

• Assorted Malted Milk Balls $7.49, 1 lb
• Malted Milk Balls (Low Sugar) $6.99, 1 lb
• Malt Ball Centres $3.99, 1 lb
• Speckled Robin Eggs $4.99, 1 lb
• Sun Dried Peppers $7.99, 1 lb
• Carob Powder $4.99, 1 lb
• Antioxidant Mix [goji berries, cacao nibs, golden berries, mulberries, brazil nuts) $2.50, samples
• Jordan Almonds (Assorted) $2.50, samples
• Ultimate Bridge Mix (Sugar Free) [chocolate covered: raisins, peanuts, almonds; yogurt covered: peanuts, almonds) $2.50, samples
• Organic Cacao Nibs (Raw) $2.50, samples
• Dried Persimmons $2.50 samples
• Deluxe Pastel Chocolate Berry Mix [cherries, apricots, blueberries] $8.99, 1 lb
• Dark Chocolate Strawberries $8.99, 1 lb
• Dark Chocolate Covered Banana Chips $8.99, 1 lb
• Dark Chocolate Covered Ginger $7.99, 1 lb
• Banana Mocha Coffee $9.99, 1 lb

...wut?  Oh, I could've kept going.  Heaven forbid I ever have money and a home stomach pump. Better to make the list and indulge the fantasy than actually lose it and hit submit.  C'est la vie...

Well, I'll Probably Never Starve...

So after injuring my knees on Insanity (by simply being neglectful to my body's early warnings - don't do that), I've had to stop.  For now.  Skipping over the part where this is a spectacular downer/setback.... Well long rambling "story" short, this somehow connects to me putting up photos off my phone of all the things I've been making in the mean time.  Cheers!

That Crying Sound You Hear

So after being the sort of ill all Sunday where I actually agreed to trying a detox/cleanse... Well long story short, in the rabbit hole.


Day 1:  "I WANT TO KILL EVERYONE.  Need...meat...and lattes..."  Have immediately concluded there is nothing natural about this.  Have chosen not to make gross veggie smoothies on the first day as a way to "wade into it", just downing them au naturale. Luckily I'm allowed spices.


Day 2:  "How do vegetarians(/vegans) LIVE like this?  I want to shoot myself!"  Constantly hungry and irritable, never doing this during a work week again.  Funny how those qualities aren't business friendly... Is it okay to smoke during a cleanse?  I feel now would be a good time to take up smoking.


Day 3:  Wailed over a box of cookies, argued that vodka is from potatoes and therefore indeed a vegetable.  Ready to crack - violently - at any time.  Just barely kept on track by outside influences.  They seem to think I should be thankful, I'm leaning more towards bloodlust.  Pretty sure when I'm done this betrayal of my stomach I'm going to spend an inordinate amount of time in the kitchen cooking and baking ALL the things!


Day 4:  ...Holy crap, it's day four?  Life is ashambles, but have reached a "tolerable" medium with the meatless bouts of delirium.  Was watching ads for work and one of them featured a giant gingerbread cookie running around...was immediately turned on.  Like whoa; you've no idea.
Still no smoothies on the horizon.  Noticed my friends are in fact comprised of fleshy meat bags.  Considering the implications...

The weird silver-lining I noticed is that since my body's so weak from lack of meats and alcohol I'm usually passing out by 22:00 (as opposed to 01:00).  This is the most sleep I've gotten in months!  ...It's weird.

Lessons vol. I

Things I will never learn:

• When food comes out of the oven/off the stove IT IS HOT.  Do not immediately put in mouth.  Or touch with bare hands.  This is bad and will cause pain and may result in the inability to taste anything for a while.
• When at all-you-can-eat, stop eating when you are full.  NOT when the food is gone.  It is never-ending.  This is a losing battle that unfailingly ends with you wishing for the sweet release of death.
• Do not let Terri pour your drinks without supervision.  That is how "two drinks" ends up being half a 750ml bottle - with just enough OJ to qualify it as yellow vodka.  This is both expensive and will end up with you blackout drunk if not just blacked out.  By 9:30.  This is how you ended up in pants with pumpkins at 5AM that time.
• The 90s:  there's people who don't get it.
• You're probably the only person (okay, one of few) who appreciates the vibrant colour of your underwears in a way that isn't remotely salacious.  This is disappointing, but deal.
• Few parents appreciate you offering to discipline their kids though they've clearly forgone it.